Enough has been said about Shake Shack and their ever growing empire. I have not been to their UWS location nor their newly opened spot in Times Square, why? First, I’m a bit too lazy to trek all the way up to UWS and I hate the Times Square area. Second, wouldn’t you rather eat your tasty burger in this lovely Madison Square Park? On my most recent trip (last time I was at Shake Shack was back in November) there was a concert going on plus the weather was actually nice, also Robyn came along, super!

All you need to know is that I fully enjoyed my burger and fries and iced tea. I wanted a 2nd burger after that.

- Shake Shack 11 Madison Avenue, New York inside Madison Square Park

Always a crowd standing outside smoking their cigarettes while a live band plays music inside near the bar. Even into the late hours of the night you’ll find people and music at Bar Tabac. I have lived in the area since 2006, with a year in Park Slope and I have never once dined at Bar Tabac. Its just one of those places that “oh its there I’ll just go later” and later became 4 frakkin years. I mean I have no excuse for not going, well actually I have no reason to go either, well I mean everybody that went there said it was good but not crazy good. Damn it why I am defending myself. Oh and its right next to a massage parlor, oh Yeah!

I was with my sister, Bonnie, and I was having trouble thinking where to eat for dinner in my own neighborhood. She was flying back to LA that night and I’m always paranoid about getting to the airport on time. I was trying to think of a place that wouldn’t take us foooorrrever but didn’t really feel like getting a banh mi at Hanco’s like last time. Then my sister said she was going to pay for dinner….then OK let’s go to Bar Tabac, why not? It was around 6pm on a Monday night when we walked in and the restaurant was nearly empty with only 2 tables being occupied. The mood was very mellow. We were seated towards the back. Once I sat down I could smell it. That smell, so familiar. The smell of the restroom yep. Right behind me was the hallway to the restroom. The whole time there all I could smell was the restroom soap, I guess thats better then…..eh anyways.

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Got an email from the guys at Big Gay Ice Cream asking if I wanted to help them at the Luckyrice David Chang Night Market. I replied “OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR YOU GUYS!” I don’t think I really typed in all CAPS but I definitely had all CAPS in my mind when I replied to them. I had heard about this Night Market thing but when I went to the website it was already sold out. But hey-yo! Thanks to Doug and Bryan I got to go even though my main job was to help them pass out samples and snap photos for them.

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When you name your place with the word “Ultimate” there’s a certain level of “ultimateness” you gotta live up to. You can’t call yourself ultimate and not be ultimate. The things listed on the menu looked promising but reviews of the place didn’t.

Short version. DON’T GO THERE!

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1) Please state your name, name your food truck, the type of food you will be serving and where in LA will the truck make it stops?
Matt: Name: Matthew Chernus. Food Truck Name: Grill ‘ Em All. Type of Food: Awesome burgers, awesome sides of stuff like truffle fries and hand rolled tator tots. Location: Your stomach! HAHAHAHA! Great answer!
Ryan: I am the one they call The Great Tyrant of Gastronome, but you can call me Ryan. We stop only to do the bidding of the hungry masses…which is frequent and all over Los Angeles.

2) When and how did you come up with the idea of serving food in a truck and how did you decide on your menu? Besides the heavy metal theme, what makes your truck unique?
Matt: Truck? We don’t serve food from a truck, that would be too pedestrian. We serve food from our lovely chariot. The food can only be as good as the chamber it comes from and ours is the queen of the ball. The ball of destruction. You ask questions of uniqueness and I answer that all is unique when it comes from the belly of this beast we call hunger.
Ryan: Well, I have been a professional cook for over ten years now and I’ve taken my knowledge of gourmet cuisine and brought it to the most amazing canvas in my mind, burgers. The menu was easy; it’s the twist I have been bringing to backyard barbeques for years now. It’s the warm blanket you throw over yourself on a cold Winter’s night after one to many goblets of grog.

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Growing up in LA, it was what it was. It was me driving everywhere, it was me being stuck in traffic, it was me hanging out at the mall because of the a/c during the hot summers, it was me spending a Friday night with friends at a TGIF and thought the food was awesome, it was me at a school event where there was an In-N-Out truck catering, it was me doing what was normal to me in LA. Also if you DO go to a TGIF restaurant may I suggest going to Claim Jumper instead? It’s just better. I was inside the LA bubble. I didn’t hate nor liked being stuck in traffic, I was okay with going to malls, I was okay with chain restaurants because that was what I grew up with.

What happens when you move out of that bubble? To the other extreme city, NYC. You change. What happened to me was, NYC made me appreciate LA even more. All that were mundane seem so extraordinary now. Humid summers or dry heat? Stuck in a metal tube with other people or be in your own car your own space? A really good plate of Hainam chicken rice. Oh how I want mom’s cooking every night now. Even if its something plain like a plate of sauteed bok choy. But NYC has also shown me things that I never thought I would liked or cared about. Things like short walkable blocks, cabs, an abundance of bars and restaurants, being outdoor, hummus, a good slice, a real Christmas.
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